After my feedback tutorial, my work felt misunderstood and disconnected from my previous project. My current project is an expression of the relationship with self in the age of social media. After a whole project based around the relationships I have closest to me, incorporating new and Archive images, I wanted to create something new with consideration to the constant theme of relationships.
I became interested with the idea of incorporating the 21st century into the work towards the final stages of my previous project when all I could do was create digital work. It led me to consider the important factors to the current age, social media being a main factor. My research helped me to begin with how my relationships are portrayed online, falling flat I moved onto my relationship with myself and how that is represented online. I began to examine myself and how I present myself on social media accounts such as Instagram. It made me consider the disconnection I have with the ‘real’ me and the one I share online.
I studied how I might edit my images to place them into the online squares of judgement that is Instagram, and them aiming to understand how and why I am disconnected to myself. I discovered the internalised hatred I had for myself and my body, universally shared with millions who use the online platforms and why. The media played a huge part in this as it has promoted hard to reach beauty standards for decades, especially for women. We have been expected to be skinny, with beautiful clear skin, long hair, with curves, big boobs and look beautiful for the male gaze. Something that is not able to be reached for everyone. I focused on this universal female experience and reached out on social media to other women who experienced something similar. I read about the insecurities these women have, from things like their teeth, their skin texture, their weight and so on.
I payed close attention to my own insecurities and wrote them down. This list included: moles, teeth, weight, lips, skin texture and body shape. I began to photograph myself in a way I had never done before, in a vulnerable state. I photographed my body in underwear, paying close attention to my rolls and stretch marks and the textures in my skin. I then began to edit my work in a way which didn’t hide this, but accentuate it. I then played around with editing in a digital collage way, incorporating text and symbolism into the work, inspired by artists such as Amber Asaly and Petra Collins.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t received well and I began to reconsider the position of my work. I recalled the previous project and my methods of working. I was very much inspired by archive images and the use of narrative text. I became inspired again, to create something which would link these projects together.
Now, I am gathering archive images again to work with, of myself. I aim to create work which shares an insight into the growth of myself as an individual over time. I will use text to consider my experiences as a female in this age of social media and how it affected me personally. I will pair my imagery created so far with the archives in a way to create new work with an enhanced meaning which correlates with the previous project. I believe this is a way to help my project have some navigation to its final stages.
My next steps are to collect my archive images of my younger self and consider which images I would like to work with which I have taken already. I will also begin writing to myself in a way which demonstrates a narrative of self-reflection and understanding the overall experiences. In the meantime, I am not focused on the end production, but on how I can take the project so far and make something more meaningful from it.
Emily Ryder 